The Rules Experiment

Tuesday, March 7

Introduction: "But First the Product- You!"

So there are a few parts of this that I agree with- basically the premise is to always look your best. But there are parts that absolutely infuriated me.

"Look your best! The better you look, the better you will feel, and the more desirable you will become to him. Maybe other men will start finding you more attractive and asking you out. You will no longer feel that the man you're currently dating is the only man on earth. You'll be less anxious and more confident. And when you look and feel good, you're less likely to break The Rules."

Ok, makes sense, and it's something we should all do. But wait! Here comes the fun part:

"Men like women who wear fashionable, sexy clothes in bright colors. Why not please them?"

Excuse me, I just threw up a little in my mouth. First of all, I didn't realize that this was the 80's and we were back to wearing "sexy clothes in bright colors." I happen to think a nicely tailored black suit, or well-fitting jeans and a black top are much sexier. Bright colors don't look sexy. Sure, they can be cute, and cheery, but if we are looking for sexy, a bad choice. And furthermore, it is much more important to wear clothes and colors that flatter you. For instance, I have light skin and blonde hair, so yellow, orange, and some reds look absolutely horrible on me. I would much rather be classy than "sexy." And I am not even going to touch that "why not please them" comment. Anyone who knows me knows that that one sent me through the roof.

"Don't leave the house without makeup. Put lipstick on even when you go jogging!"

Personally, I work out to get into shape. I am not going to the gym wearing full makeup. Besides the fact that it's really bad for your skin, I don't want to have to sacrifice a good workout in order to keep my makeup from smudging. I see women at the gym every day with makeup on, cute workout clothes and their hair done. There is a name for that kind of woman- a bimbo. These women make me want to hurl. And I honestly can't believe that any self-respecting guy is picking up these women at the gym with the intention of having anything beyond a one-night-stand with them.

"Do everything you possibly can to put your best face forward. If you have a bad nose, get a nose job; color gray hair; grow your hair long. Men prefer long hair, something to play with and caress. It doesn't matter that short hair is easier to wash and dry or that your hair is very thin. The point is, we're girls!"

Ok, so I'm supposed to forego a cut that may be more flattering on me so that men can play with and caress my hair?? While I agree that a very short, boy-cut is not that cute (on most women-there are a few women that can pull it off), I also think that it's more important to have a style that works for YOU. I know someone who has very long, straight, fine hair. No layers. No bangs. Part in the middle. I'm sorry, but that Crystal Gail look is not flattering on anyone. And if you don't like your nose and want a nose job, please do it for YOU, not to "catch a man." Any self-improvement should be done in an effort to feel better about ourselves, not so that the opposite sex sees us as more attractive.

Here's where it gets REALLY infuriating:

"Don't tell sarcastic jokes. Don't be a loud, knee-slapping, hysterically funny girl. When you're with a man you like, be quiet and mysterious, act ladylike, cross your legs and smile. Don't talk so much. Wear black sheer pantyhose and hike up your skirt to entice the opposite sex! You might be offended by these suggestions and argue that this will suppress your intelligence or vivacious personality. You may feel that you won't be able to be yourself, but men will love it!"

Ok, now I'm full-on vomiting. All this time I thought that any man worth my time would want a woman with an actual personality! According to the rules, though, women aren't supposed to have personalities- we apparently are only supposed to be quiet eye-candy. Is that why I'm still single?? Because I am intelligent and like to laugh and make other people laugh? Damn, I guess I need to be a 'Stepford Wife' to land a man. Oh, and I need to start hiking up my skirt.

We haven't even started the rules yet...this was the introduction. Trust me, it gets worse.


Blogger Kirsten said...

HOLY SHIT!!!! What, was this book written in the damn 50's??? I just don't have words for this...I mean seriously...hike up your skirt?? Makeup in the gym??? WOW!!! Girl, you got it rough, if this is the way its supposed to be....And I agree, no man who goes for that is living in this world...good grief...I can't wait to see what is next....

3/07/2006 12:32 PM  
Blogger Bad at Life said...

The lipstick thing is a little out there. I think it would actually be a deal-breaker if I ever caught a woman putting on makeup before going running.

I do like the part about bright colors though. Any woman who can pull off magenta or neon green has me at hello.

3/07/2006 7:13 PM  
Blogger Ashburnite said...

Kirsten- unfortunately, it was written in 1995...hard to believe, I know.
B@L- I don't blame you...it takes a very special woman to pull of florescent colors...hang on to her if you find her!

3/07/2006 7:29 PM  
Blogger Betty said...

Men want a trophy not a human being. This is why we should all turn into lesbians.

3/08/2006 2:21 PM  

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