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The Rules Experiment

Wednesday, March 8

White Dade's Commentary

Ok folks. To do this the right way, I really wanted to get a guy's input. Enter White Dade. After reading his blog, I knew that he would be the perfect guy for this project. He's intelligent, opinionated and observant. He has agreed to add his commentary on both the Rules and my experiences with them. I'm still working out the kinks in how to do this so that it reads well, but I'm thinking that I'll add his posts after mine (or rather before, as the most recent post appears at the top of the page).
Anyways, here are his first two entries:

"My first evening with 'The Rules'":

The Guy's Perspective:

The inherent problem with “The Rules” is that it automatically weeds out men who feed off of women’s enthusiasm for them. Contrary to popular belief, a LOT of guys like girls who are not “aloof” as you say. Actually, most of us do. There is an expression that guys like to throw around to the effect of “The Thrill Is In The Chase,’ which is true. But when that chase is akin to the Battan Death March run at Olympic speed, we tend to think “There are easier ways of doing this.”

Ashburn did the right thing in this situation, though, especially since she didn’t seem overly enamored with either one of these guys. Had she shown excessive interest, well, she may have gotten one of these poor boy’s hopes up. As a very wise person once told me “If you never expect anything, you’ll never be disappointed.”

Lastly, I would like to add that any guy who asks your friend for your number may be a little lacking in the cojones department. I am all for letting a girl make the first move, ask for my number, etc. But honestly, dude, if you can’t ask a girl to her face for her number, how are you ever going to ask her to take off her bra?

Introduction: But First the Product- You!

The Guy's Perspective:

"Men like women who wear fashionable, sexy clothes in bright colors. Why not please them?"

Bright colors are back, Ashburn, have you not been to the Polo store lately? One trip to the window shop at Bal Harbor or Aventura tells me that if you are not in Bright Orange, Bright Pink or Bright Yellow, you are an abomination to fashion and do not deserve any attention from men. This trend is quite unfortunate for those of us that look good in, say, black, navy, grey and white. Am I getting too Queer Eye here for you? IN GENERAL, I would have to agree with the rules, here, though. Bright colors give off an air of fun and carefree-ness. Like, I picture blonde tanned girls laughing away in their bright orange polo shirts. But, by all means, if you look like shit in red, don’t waste your money.

"Don't leave the house without makeup. Put lipstick on even when you go jogging!"

We also have a word in the fitness industry for women like the one who wrote this pearl of wisdom: Gym Skank. As a fitness professional, I find it insulting when people use my facility as a pick up joint. And most girls do too. For the men reading this: NEVER PICK UP A WOMAN AT THE GYM. I know you think you look hot in your Hanes Muscle-T, and there is inherent sexuality oozing out of the walls of even the smallest weight room. But you are going to look like a jackass and your success rate won’t be very high. I have never met a girl who said she liked being hit on during her workout. And sweaty makeup is only hot in one situation, and it does not involve an elliptical machine. Okay, it involved an elliptical machine once, but that was a long time ago and it almost got me fired.

"Do everything you possibly can to put your best face forward. If you have a bad nose, get a nose job; color gray hair; grow your hair long. Men prefer long hair, something to play with and caress. It doesn't matter that short hair is easier to wash and dry or that your hair is very thin. The point is, we're girls!"

This is a lot like the colors thing. Short hair looks good on Natalie Portman, Halle Barry and a few runway models. That’s it. If you are not one of those people, take that thought out of your head and put it right next to “You know, I’ve never actually TRIED heroin.” But, yes, you should try to look as good as possible if your goal is to attract a man. We are visual creatures, ladies. That is what we play off of. It is why we love porn, strip clubs and sports. We are judged by our peers by the attractiveness of our mates, much as you are judged by your mate’s relative success. Sad? Sure. Unfair? You could argue that. But your looks will be the #1 thing that a man is initially attracted to. Sorry.

"Don't tell sarcastic jokes. Don't be a loud, knee-slapping, hysterically funny girl. When you're with a man you like, be quiet and mysterious, act ladylike, cross your legs and smile. Don't talk so much. Wear black sheer pantyhose and hike up your skirt to entice the opposite sex! You might be offended by these suggestions and argue that this will suppress your intelligence or vivacious personality. You may feel that you won't be able to be yourself, but men will love it!"

This part they forgot to mention in this section is that is was meant for women living in countries controlled by the Taliban. Had they left that in, you probably would not have had to make those multiple trips to the bathroom. In all honesty, in a lot of other cultures this would apply. Which is why I find most Latin girls in Miami so dreadfully dull and humorless. Maybe they are funnier in Spanish, I don’t know. This suggestion is complete crap. In America, f you want a guy with a personality, you have to have one yourself. Plain and simple.

Thanks, White Dade for the input. And guys, if you get a chance, visit his blog- there's some very funny stuff there.

6 Comments:

Blogger Betty said...

Absolutely agree on the sarcasm thing. It's my best personality trait, that sexy mocking tone. It's also a good way to see which boys can roll with me and who can't. I dated a guy once who thought everything I said to him was meant to be sweet and docile. I was actually mocking his serious nature and the seriousness with which he took himself.

3/09/2006 4:55 PM  
Blogger Ashburnite said...

Betty- I'm with you on that....I happen to love my sarcasm. Unfortunately, it may be one of the reasons that most of the guys I'm interested in don't ever see me as anything more than a "friend" or "one of the guys." But, I'm guessing that the "one" will fully appreciate my sarcasm.

3/10/2006 9:22 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

Wow, this was informative! I like hearing the guy's side to dating sometimes. Very cool.

3/10/2006 9:25 AM  
Blogger kojak said...

Since you mentioned makeup, I just wanted to point something out. To the ladies: applying excessive makeup is one of the most distasteful, unattractive things a woman can do. I've written an article on this in my blog. Check it out.

3/24/2006 11:06 AM  
Blogger TooMuchCoffeeLady said...

Great site!

WD - great to haer what a guy has to say about this!

Re: latinas and sarcasm... I lived in central america for a year and people there don't "do" sarcasm. At all. They seem to consider it lying, and it's definitely *not* considered attractive on a woman. Which will double as my reason why I (a very pretty blonde) could only get dates with other exchange students.

6/23/2006 12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Betty I totally agree with you! many times I am being sarcastic with a guy and he just doesn't 'get it'!! Although I have had great relationships with guys who are not sarcastic, the ones who get it are just way more fun to be around...hmmmmm...I think I know 'White Dade' too....

5/07/2007 1:29 PM  

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