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The Rules Experiment

Friday, March 10

A Guy's Perspective on Rule #1

Ok...time for another installment of "White Dade's Opinion." WD, I am really happy I picked someone so opinionated. It helps a lot to hear a man's (un-edited) point of view. Without further ado.....

My First "Rules" Date and Rule #1: Be a "Creature Unlike Any Other."

The Guy's Perspective:

First off, I would like to congratulate Miss Ash on getting herself a date. I hope your Cuddle Bunny asked you out. Very un-rules like otherwise. Who the Hell does that? Seriously? Even if you DO like to cuddle, that’s like saying “I want to make you breakfast in bed” before you take someone home. Ridiculous. I eagerly await the opportunity to critique this social outing.

"Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It's the way you smile (you light up the room), pause between sentences (you don't babble on and on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demurely, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight), and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back)." "It doesn't matter if you're not a beauty queen, that you never finished college, or that you don't keep up with current events. You still think you're enough! You have more confidence than women with MBAs or money in the bank. You don't grovel. You're not desperate or anxious. You don't date men who don't want you. You trust in the abundance and goodness of the universe: if not him, someone better, you say. You don't settle. You don't chase anyone. You don't use sex to make men love you. You believe in love and marriage. You're not cynical. You don't go to pieces when a relationship doesn't work out. Instead, you get a manicure and go out on another date or to a singles dance. You're an optimist. You brush away a tear so that it doesn't smudge your makeup and you move on! Of course, that is not how you really feel. This is how you pretend you feel until it feels real. You act as if!"

Confident women are great, so long as they are confident about things that are worth being confident about. That girl with the loud, obnoxious voice who makes no effort to tone it down because she is proud of its tone? Not attractive. That girl who acts like a spoiled, high-maintenance brat because she is proud to be part of ParisNation? She will be spending a lot of Saturday nights with her toy Pomeranian. Or the girl who weighs two bills and orders dessert saying “Hey, I’m fat and proud?” Good, you will soon also be diabetic and proud, a cardiac patient and proud and, probably, single and proud. So, yes, ladies, be yourself, so long as yourself is not an overly offensive, spoiled fat girl, Because God knows every man pictures himself with one of those. And how does this apply to women who, you know, actually finished college, have MBA’s and money in the bank? Are they supposed to be like “I am more confident than those bimbos who dropped out of community college so they could marry well?” I just don’t know.

"Most women hang around men all night waiting to be asked to dance. But you do The Rules. If he wants to be with you or get your phone number, he'll search the crowded room until he finds you. You don't offer him your pen or business card. You don't make it easy for him. Don't even carry them with you or you may be tempted to "help him out." The reason is that he has to do all the work. As he scrambles around begging the coat-check girl for a pen, you stand quietly. You think to yourself, 'The Rules have begun!'"

Singles dances are actually quite popular among twentysomethings. Provided those twentysomethings are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Otherwise “Singles Dances” are generally held in large rooms with smoke, lasers, alcohol and the occasional illicit drug. At which point finding a pen may prove rather difficult. At any rate, telling a woman to make a man do all the work is only setting her up for failure. When you do this, a man thinks “If I have to do all the work now, what happens when we are in bed? Or, God forbid, have children?” Okay, we actually skip that second part, but still we are concerned that a woman who makes you desperately scramble for a pen may be the type to make your life a living Hell should you choose to pursue her after the lights come on. And, again, a lot of men feed of female interest. Feigning apathy will only make me less inclined to call you. Feigning interest, on the other hand, may get you dinner at The Ivy.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever, dude. I live by the Rules, and thank god for them. They helped me avoid a lot of cads, in addition to helping me be less needy and desperate as I became a CUAO. I got a killer wardrobe, started exercising and eating right, went back to school and made social plans with girlfriends and just lived my life. Guys came out of the woodwork after an seemingly interminable dry spell! So, no matter what you people say, the work well. The pen part, yeah, I thought it was a load of crap, but I was willing to try. Who could it kill? I was at a club and some suave oogler wanted my number, I didn’t have a pen or a cell phone on me, and damned if he didn’t go search for one. Amazing, huhn? The point of the Rules is to weed out the men who are too lazy to do an adequate job of courting a girl. Those are the men who will be lazy later when it comes to having a relationship with you, because all they were in it for in the first place was a quick roll in the hay. And if your marriage-minded or otherwise long-term relationship minded, these are the guys you don’t want. This the point of the Rules. I used the Rules to excellent effect and am involved for almost three years with a man who cares very deeply for me and treats me with respect. I’m always on his mind, and he calls me every single day because he “worked like hell” to get me.

7/25/2006 4:36 PM  

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