The Rules Experiment

Wednesday, April 26

Rule #3 is Crap, Unless You Are Selling Drugs

"Do you know that there are workshops designed to teach women how to make eye contact with men they find attractive? Save your money. It is never necessary to make eye contact. What about letting men know you're receptive? We suggest simply smiling at the room (or the universe, if you will), and looking relaxed and approachable.""On the first date, avoid staring romantically into his eyes. Instead, look down at the table or your food, or simply survey the crowd at the restaurant. He will feel crowded and self-conscious if you gaze at him too much."

Absolutely 100% wrong. You know how I know a girl at a bar or other social function is interested? She keeps looking at me. The ones who don’t? Why would I waste my time on somebody who obviously doesn’t appreciate how I look? No, no, no, no, no. Checking me out, or dare I say even staring at me all night, is the quickest way to a man’s heart. And as for staring off into space? Perhaps if I were looking for some Peyote I would approach a girl with a thousand yard stare. Or maybe if I were into chicks that have just gotten back from ‘Nam. Otheriwse, do try looking at me girls. I put a lot of work into how I look, if you can’t appreciate it I don’t have time for you.

And if you are staring at the table or the food on a date, you know who comes off as crowded and self-conscious? YOU! You look too nervous to talk to me! Believe it or not, guys like confidence too. And even if we assume “The Rules” are right (kind of like assuming Saddam was going to attack us with nuclear weapons, but whatever) who wants to be with a girl who makes you feel crowded? Is that fun? The more I read this, the more I think this author wrote this shit for shock value.

"One of the hardest aspects of dating is figuring out what to say. If you're smart, you'll just stay cool and just listen to what he has to say. Follow his lead. If he wants to talk about dance clubs, tell him which ones you've been to and which ones you like.""Don't feel you have to be entertaining or have interesting conversation all the time. On the date itself, be quiet and reserved. He'll wonder what you're thinking, if you like him, and if he's making a good impression."

From a male perspective, I actually kind of like this one. Because nobody loves talking about themselves more than I do. When a girl has nothing to say, I will just sit there and ramble on about my friends, my life, my family, whatever. Now, do I think girls like to hear about this? Hell no. But it beats the shit out of uncomfortable silences. That being said, if you are female, why on Earth do you want to go out with a guy who doesn’t shut up about himself? Nobody likes that. This is horrible advice unless you want to end up with a self-centered guy who really doesn’t care what you have to say. I prefer a good, two-sided conversation, don’t get me wrong. But if a girl is following this nonsense, it will just give me a better chance to talk about my favorite subject: Me.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a terrific blog. But it's really hard on the eyes because of that dotted background. I respectfully request that you rethink your design and change the background to something plain and white, because it is excruciatingly tough to read.

5/04/2006 2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It says in "Mars and Venus on a Date" that women SHOULD talk about themselves because it will make men interested in them! These books are just opinions and theories.

5/31/2006 5:12 AM  
Blogger Maulleigh said...

last night, I saw a cute guy from across a crowded room and he caught me staring. I looked away and then kept double checking to see if he was looking at me! ARgh! It was so nervewracking. He was totally out of my league anyway. I've dated guys out of my league and it's exhausting and miserable. :(

6/10/2006 12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First time reader here (thank whitedade) and you got me, I'm sucked in. I'll prolly spend the later half of my workday reading your archives.

I don't want to be on a date where I'm the only one talking, oh wait I don't go on dates, but if I did I wouldn't want to be the only one talking--huge turn off. I need a personality along with a tight body.

Being that whitedade referred me I'm going to use the name I go by on his blog...

- Florida hater

8/21/2006 10:15 AM  

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